December 11, 2023

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Four Marriage Advice The Church May Not Give You

There is just something unfair about studying for a test and not seeing everything you study about actually showing up on the test itself.  This was always my challenge and I am sure it is for many reading this article.  You look over your notes given by the teacher more than once then there are questions appearing foreign showing up on the test.

The reality is that it is very hard to include every single detail from the actual teaching into the test itself.  As much as it is frustrating it is impossible to incorporate every single detail to show up on the test.

I grew up in church.  My grandparents made me go to church even as a little boy.  I remember hanging on to my grandmother’s dress-tail walking and frowning silently to avoid a beating.  I now realize as a man the importance of corporate worship.  As long as I have been going to church I have never heard a pastor preach every single word on marriage from God’s word, the Bible.  The church lays a strong root for marriages but there are some marriage questions I had no answer for until my actual marriage journey began.

Michelle and I are tested frequently in our own marriage of twenty two golden years and we are still working at figuring out the answers.  The truth is, the church cannot give all the answers.  The real answers come from your experience along the marriage journey.  Here are six marriage advice the church, although with good intentions, may not give…..

God Gives Sex As A Treasure. Enjoy It. 

God created sex to be enjoyed in within the confinement of marriage.  I was never truly enlightened on sex.  I am almost certain that you have not been either.  It is almost like a mystery you figure out along the way.  This is why the devil is having a field day with even Christian marriages.  Sex appears dirty to even the ones who are permitted to enjoy it as being married.  As married couples, you are authorized to explore and enjoy this great God-given treasure.  Go ahead and feel free to do so.

The Early Years of Marriage Are Difficult 

Michelle and I can attest to this fact.  The wedding creates a fairytale that you will live happily ever after.  Hollywood paints a deceptive picture and gets paid millions for that painting.  It shows a marriage with no difficulty until it cannot hide it anymore.  You see how Hollywood couples break up like breaking bread into crumbs after only a few months of being married.  The truth is, God created marriage with difficulty so you can draw closer to Him.  I remember washing my van in my early years of marriage and asked God a question, “why are you not changing Michelle?”  When He answered I felt disappointed but shortly after I realized the power in His response.  “I am changing you” is what I got back from God.  Little did we know back then that our PAIN was for a great PURPOSE.  God grows your marriage muscle through hardship but only if you let Him.  Things get so much easier as the years go by.  We no longer major on the minors as we watch God use us to share and minister to so many married couples struggling in their own marriages today.

A Wife or Husband Does Not Make You Complete

This phrase in that famous movie says “YOU COMPLETE ME” is such a lie.  As much as it is a movie it still deceives so many married couples into thinking that their spouses complete them.  God created marriage for both husband and wife to BECOME one…..key word BECOME.  Unfortunately, an insecure spouse who may have had past bad experiences and still carrying those baggage cannot be made complete by another spouse who have their own baggage.  We are all imperfect thriving for healing that only comes from the one who created marriage, God.  God can and is willing to make you complete when you surrender to Him by loving and respecting each other in the marriage.

Everybody Does Not Have To Get Married

So then the person who marries his fiancee does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.” 1 Corinthians 7:38.  God did not create marriage and say you must get married or you are living a life of sin.  God said if you are not married and are having sex, you are living a life of sin.

God has not called everybody to get married.  God put no pressure on us to marry.  Man put the pressure on each other to get married.  “Hey time to tie the knot!”  “You are getting old and need a partner!”  All with good intent but really deceptive advice.  No man knows your life plan like God does.  God says, “I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU.”  What if His plan is for you to remain single for great purposes you do not know of.  Seek God through prayer and ask Him alone for your spouse and wait.  He may say YES, NO or WAIT.  Either way, trust His answer.  It is perfect.

Marriage was created as a mystery.  God wants every couple to live a Godly life while staying married for life.  Although He gives the two keys to live this life in marriage, he allows space for every husband and wife to make Godly choices along the journey of marriage which will help them grow into the greatest marriage ever, A MARRIAGE IN GOD’S IMAGE.  Huddle up and enjoy each other as you explore this beautiful mystery of marriage.  Michelle and I are still exploring and we continually pray for every married couple to experience the Joy, Peace, Love and Harmony deserved and intended by God for each couple.

Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it.  If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised…(Song of Solomon 8:6-7).

Email the author with any questions or comments at [email protected]

About The Author

Carim Hyatt

Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a radio talk show reaching all over the world.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.  Carim’s third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE is soon to be released.  His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has led him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families.

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